The Paradox of Unity...
Relationship containers centred in the mutual surrender to Truth are the most rapid and potent containers for individuation that we know of. Most of our fundamental imprints of Self and Reality are forged in relationship. Information of God and Goddess come originally from the parental imprints, where we pick up the key programming that becomes the foundation for how we relate to ourselves, others and the world. All aspects of reality are found in the relationship between parts, and as such, there is a level of embodied enlightenment that can only be accessed through the complete dissolution of self that is made possible through discovering the One through the many – the One Body experienced through the multiple bodies.
In recognising that our universe is an infinite evolutionary and involutionary fractal process of life and death, we see that unity through the bodies becomes the ultimate reflection of the union between Consciousness (masculine) and Matter (feminine). All of our perceptual distortions and subconsciously stored information about the two Godheads are shown to those who take the commitment to Life all the way down into human totality. There are parts of our un-integrated psyche, thus, that are only accessible through the process of conscious relationship.
In this aspect of the transmission, we discuss the essence of male-female relational union and the central challenges there...
The Holy Trinity of Relationship
When you are able to make Two become One, the inside like the outside, and the outside like the inside, the higher like the lower, so that man is no longer male and woman female, but male and female become a single whole. When you are able to fashion an eye to replace an eye, and for a hand in place of a hand, or a foot for a foot, making one image supersede another, then you will enter the Kingdom.
– Jesus, The Gospel of Mary Magdalene.
Relating as Nature
The enlightenment that is possible between two bodies is perhaps the most beautiful aspect of unfolding as Truth and embodied Love. It is simply the ultimate return to nature, as consciousness surrenders through it's identification with separate self, and allows the deeper intelligence of the masculine and feminine principles to be revealed through the male and female bodies. Nature, as the Feminine God-Head – existence itself – comes alive through us, when the Two become the One.
A total commitment is needed between those who embark on the unfolding of this revelation, as it requires a strong container to allow such an intimate and vulnerable meeting with the parts of ourselves that hold deep wounds of separation from nature. To the degree that the individual wavers on the edge of total commitment, the ego will be sure to find any and all escape routes to avoid seeing the Truth. The containment is what allows us to come face-to-face with all of our distortions and rejections of Love and Honesty, igniting a total transfiguration of all our inner fragmentation, birthing the Whole and Unique Individual. This is the tantric revelation, the Masculine and Feminine incarnating as the fully-embodied fractal reflection of their divinity through the Human, as the full blooming of the Man and Woman.
From Co-dependency to Inter-dependence
Much of the current collective templates for relating are centred around the goal of self-preservation. While there is nothing wrong with this, we must also acknowledge that this is simply not the way nature intended us to relate to one another. Meeting love requires the death of the separate self by its definition, as Love is what brings unification into reality, necessitating the dissolution of our separation. To truly Love is actually to Die – over and over again. The trick with this is that, if we are not individuated enough by virtue of our commitment to Love and responsibility over our own lives, we can mistake mature union with codependent enmeshment.
Codependent enmeshment occurs when two people are not rooted in themselves and who, as a consequence of their inward disconnection and unmet wounds of abandonment and rejection, project their own inner centre of Soul/God/Love onto Other, objectifying the other as if they are the source of Love itself. This happens easily with those who are not realised in their divine nature as Love (masculine), and so the wounded human is constantly seeking that Love (i.e. themselves/God) from an external source (objectification & projection). And as many of us know, this never ends well. We 'lose' ourselves in the Other. And while we speak about it in the context of relationship, evidently we can see enmeshment in many areas of human existence, such as children and family, our jobs and sense of purpose – anywhere we project our sense of direction and meaning onto external sources, rather than sourcing purpose from the Direct Path as source within (self-realisation).
For those who are healing from codependency and becoming more strongly rooted in their Self-Centre (Love), there may be a needed phase of abstinence, or other ways of disengaging from patterns of enmeshment. Here we may receive lessons of boundaries, discernment, self-care, self-trust – we move from codependency to independence. The next step of our unfolding, however, is to acknowledge that we cannot maintain the individual self (as we have come to know it) when we enter into the sphere of tantric relationship. It is not that we lose ourselves like in codependent relating... but we are invited into a maturation of our Love, of our consciousness, as to expand beyond the limits of the individual self. It is a kind of transcendence, a letting-go of our attachment to self as the separate one. For the ego, it is not particularly romantic or pleasant, given that this process requires the facing of our edges – all the places where we retain the fear of death! But for the soul, contrarily, it is the most rewarding of all human experiences. We ain't kiddin', here!
The word 'transcend' means to both transcend and include the previous state of development (shout out to Mr. Ken Wilbur), and thus, at this stage of harmonic interdependence, it is not that we lose our strong sense of innate self-hood cultivated through our individuation, but rather, there is simply a further stage possible. Here we see that the alchemy between the essential man and woman births a third natural entity, as a combined Being. In much the same way that we can say the bee is distinct from the flower; yet, when we consider the combined process of their connection – in this case, pollination – it serves one greater whole, one greater purpose, as part of a greater chain of natural union between all aspects of nature.
Thus, True Unity is not the destruction of our unique personhood. It is instead the evolution out of the identification with the separate self, where we instead both Know ourselves as individuals, but see that we are always operating within (and as) the One-Body of the Universe itself, and are thus not separate from every other 'part' of existence. This is true 'transcendence', which does not bypass or eliminate the previously attained selfhood. We simply renounce the identification with the separate self, which in turn births even deeper expressions of our uniqueness! This happens as a consequence of the letting-go of identification (belief in separation and attachment to matter – our individual human body). In letting go of attachment, consciousness expands and then deepens into Matter, birthing new layers of intelligence as the infinite merges with the finite. As consciousness roots more deeply into matter, the wisdom of the feminine (matter, or the body) emerges – not as an identity, nor a personality, but as an ever-unfolding evolutionary process of nature.
"I live on Earth at present, and I don't know what I am. I know that I am not a category. I am not a thing – a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process – an integral function of the universe." – Buckminster Fuller
Birthing the Kingdom...
Merging with the Feminine: the Challenges
The Tantric Realm of embodied union between Shiva/Shakti is a descent into the Feminine Wisdom, as a consequence of Consciousness seeking full expression (incarnation). One-Bodied Relating is this incarnation process, meaning that both Man and Woman must arrive into the palm of The Great Woman (existence, or the finite and changeable), as both man and woman's body is feminine, or 'matter'. This is most difficult (at least for a time in the early phases) for man to come into this realisation, simply because the ego is predicated on the separation from the feminine, believing itself to be something outside of woman. Underneath this childish struggle for an inauthentic independence, the man meets his insecurity, his past imprints of the feminine, and his sense of helpless powerlessness in relationship to the feminine. When the courageous man who is dedicated to Truth embarks on this descent, he most certainly will manifest a woman into his life, who becomes the gatekeeper for them both to descend into the womb vortex together. When man meets his deep wounds – the penetration of his consciousness (masculine) into his own humanity/body (feminine) – he deepens into his actual Manhood, merging more deeply with the primal power of the male body (which is actually feminine power, as the body is feminine). Here, man sees that he is not apart from the Woman, and this no longer terrifies him – he cannot help but love his own humanity, the earth, and his woman that much more.
It is quite the process for both Man and Woman together to mature into this Wisdom. The challenge for woman is that she must learn with her own masculine (consciousness) to stand for the integrity and inner wisdom of her own feminine. In her disempowered state, a woman will project her longing for the masculine onto her actual man, which prevents them both from deepening together. While the woman's wounding (unconscious feminine) is calling out to be loved by her man, before she with her own consciousness has chosen to penetrate herself first to the point where she can stand openly with her vulnerability, it can only be the case that the man reflects the fact of the rejection of her own consciousness towards her feminine. When woman initially enters herself, this paves the way in the quantum field for man to realise his own capacity to bring deeper love into the relationship. It does not mean that man does not have his limitations in him that can play out as resistance towards the feminine, for he will have to meet these aspects of himself as part of his own wounding. But we must see that woman's meeting of her pain is what opens the shared field between them, where her meeting of her feminine paves the way for man's deepening into his feminine.
Inclusive in this piece must be the understanding and practice of emptiness (as a masculine pillar). Without the void aspect that allows for all pieces within existence to be interpreted with the backdrop of value-less-ness, the pain that arises in one or both parties can easily be spun into endless narrative, never getting to the point, and preventing the ego from dying-out of the perspective that rises out of the point of pain. It is quite common to see men and women in so-called "conscious" relationships where often the woman rejects the emptiness piece. This forever maintains an imbalance and inability for the relationship to deepen beyond the identification with the body, as woman makes meaning of all her feelings in a refusal to penetrate herself, manifesting outwardly as drama, with the man having to dissociate from her or become the one who holds her. In either outcome, the man continues to be in a position unable to penetrate himself, as woman would also require the emptiness piece to support him in the meeting with his own feminine.
Man's rejection of the feminine can only be occurring due to his own separation from his body (his rejection of his own feminine), and this is something that women must develop mature compassion towards. It will often appear to be the case that woman, at least for the initial phase of relationship, will be holding most of the fort between the two. Woman will always hold the keys for the next drop into Reality (as finite wisdom existence), and she must grow strong in her capacity to bring the reflections and revelations needed for the relationship to mature. In his immaturity, man will likely resist the feminine reflection with arrogance and ignorance, and while this is never fun for the woman, it is an important initiation for her in growing stronger and stronger in her solidity – her inner union of consciousness and matter.
As the relationship matures, and there is a proper clearing out of the initial mother/father imprints, the true natural harmony between man and woman begins to emerge as the combined surrender into the Feminine. Man and Woman come to see the cosmic fractal of tantric unity moving through them as a unit, as the incarnation of their inner union with themselves (between consciousness and matter). The true relationship begins here, in the arrival of these incarnated individuals together – the individuated adults.
Yes, this kind of relating takes everything – but it is completely worth it. As far as we can tell from our humble little perspectives here, this is the most accelerated and secure path of soul incarnation. One-Bodied Relating requires a total dying-into Life, in a way that leaves no room for any aspect of ourselves to remain hidden and untouched by Love... God-Awakened, right down into the very Root of our profound little human lives. 💕