Integration and Embodiment
"A million zeros when joined together do not, unfortunately, add up to One."– Carl Jung, The Undiscovered Self.
It's one thing to awaken, and another thing all together to integrate that awakening into our Beings. Awakening is by no means the end point, but rather, the start. And even then, we could truthfully say that the start actually occurs when we have become so deeply embodied that our lives are moved completely by our surrender to Truth and Life...
Perhaps we could say that awakening is the Beginning of the End. When we awaken to greater reality, we are still moving with the central egoic system that is the product of our cultural and ancestral conditioning, very much plugged into the collective consciousness in a myriad of complex ways. Integration takes time, and truth be told, it never ends, simply because the integration of our realisation makes way for further meetings with those aspects of Being, which in turn move us into another phase of even deeper integration, and so on...
With that said, there are threshold-points along the journey, where we become so solid as the rest into our own nature, that we no longer struggle with the pushes and pulls into old roles and movements of the collective (there are other challenges, but in this sense there is a 'levelling up' by way of our maturation). It doesn't mean we disengage from the world, but rather that we are able to move in the world truly as a free agent, without getting hooked into collective momentum. We are able to affect change from a rooted place, an honest place, in whatever we are called to enter-into as part of our unfolding. This is how we truly contribute to evolution, not from an identity trying to 'change the world', but from the organic momentum of nature, that transfigures all that it touches by virtue of its intelligence. You become a transformative ecosystem by way of your embodied existence.
We explore below the different challenges and potential processes that one undergoes as a consequence of deepening their relationship to the dimensions. Every human being is unique, and the way our systems are wired into dissociation and ignorance all hold their own formations, so we can only speak generally to these processes. Despite this, in those we have worked with, there appears to be universal themes that are touched upon as a result of navigating the different territories.
Why cultivate emptiness?
In the context of overall human healing and embodiment, cultivating emptiness allows for deeper places of feeling and pain to be met with an absence of identification. Without the awareness of emptiness, the mind easily gets caught on the surface narrative that rises as an identity out of pain/trauma, or other forms of attachment to existence (such as people, or money – anything that has a narrative behind it, believed to be 'something'). To the degree that the mind gets lost in these stories, consciousness actually stays dissociated from truly meeting, merging-with and healing the pain of separation. It can take some time to wear-down our identification with these stories, given that so many of them are deeply hardwired into our systems. But with the dedication to Truth and the Surrender to Love, it is a very doable endeavour.
The shadow of cultivating emptiness alone is that it can easily become bypassing and rejecting of the human experience. If none of it is real, and all stories are false, what is the point of engaging with the 'story' of Life? However, when we take this aspect of human unfolding, and we include it with the process of human purification, it becomes obvious that a sincere path of embodiment cannot be undertaken without an honest embrace of the fact of emptiness.
We have found that the discovery of deeper and deeper levels of emptiness occurs cyclically, as a natural counterpart to the embrace of Life (as Love and pure Being). There is thus a learning to fall-in-Love with both sides of the spectrum, and surrendering any preference of one state over another, not just enjoying the expansive and evolutionary aspects Love and Life, but truthfully seeing that our relaxation into Nothing, letting go of ourselves and all that we have gained in our meeting with deeper God-states/Love, is of equal grace. Allowing ones own experience of this flat-lining out of Life, resting into meaninglessness, is the meeting with Death, and it births a quality of peace and total rest, that bares its own unique beauty comparatively to that of Love. And on the other side of this death, more life can be born! Our call to surrender into the totality of reality requires us to fully let go out of Life, trusting that Life will re-appear on the other side, as the beginning of another cycle.
Thought, perception, belief and feeling are revealed as empty in two ways: by ending the projection of ones Life-energy out through the eyes, and by entering into the depth of all form and discovering the empty centre. Where there isn't open emptiness, there are instead various forms of noise and perceptual structures, distorting and limiting ones creative potential, and contributing to the manifestation of unpleasant and wasteful karmic patterns. The resulting manifestation of these unconscious structures into forms is what we could call 'the false matrix' (this is what can be understood as the actual patriarchy). Awakening to empty awareness can reveal even the physical to be fundamentally formless – the same particle-stuff dancing in blank space, as we come to see at the atomic and sub-atomic levels.
Much of the perceptual structures we pick up are from initial imprints of the outside world, which tend to keep most people in an un-individuated state, very much 'plugged into' the agreed-upon thought-forms of the collective consciousness, in a myriad of complex ways. As it was well-put by Carl Jung, people can very easily fall into the collective shadow through their own personal shadow.
We could consider a basic example here: Joe, your average un-individuated person, agrees to aid in the execution of an inhumane regime instigated by a tyrannical government, something he agrees to as a consequence of not ever considering his own true values, his own authentic way, where he instead externalises his authority onto the forms of the outside-world; a consequence of having adopted the typical patterns of self-rejection. These patterns are forms, taken to be real and rigid structures, and they prevent one from standing open and receptive towards their own stream of Life. Joe may not have been a 'bad' person in the typical sense, and yet his lack of personal maturation is what enabled him to be a pawn for a deeper force of darkness. (This point of individuation is also relevant for the other dimensions.)
Rewiring Perception, and Clearing out the BS
We can simplify the purification of the head into two central processes: a) opening the head through direct meditation, and b) active inventory taking and disassembling the mind.
a) In meditation, we approach the head and mind in the recognition of what it actually is: another part of the physical body. Here, we come to know that thought, perception and mind are not some ethereal psychic and non-physical phenomenon, but are in fact somatic, and wired in to physical form. We recognise this by entering the physical head and brain with our awareness in meditation. As we increase our sensory sensitivity, we come to a point where we can actually feel thought somatically. We can feel what part in the head/brain is housing a perceptual structure. It can be quite a bizarre thing. In this revelation, we see that perceptual and belief structures are actually pockets of physical tension within the head.
As we deepen in meditation, our awareness serves as a kind of applied pressure (like massage) that opens tension in the head, much like we would do for any other part of the body in meditation. When this process begins, we can start to experience headaches and other physical pains through the head structure. This is a sign of its healing, though it isn't exactly pleasant. We meet in the head resistance to life, resistance to being entered by consciousness. We meet hatred towards certain aspects of ourselves, others, and life in general, and the many ways that the mind seeks to maintain control over existence. We can also experience states of depression and disengagement towards life as part of this clearing-out. This is not a bad thing, but something else to embrace as part of the states of letting-go and dying-out of old pathways and attachment to existence.
The re-approach to meditation in this way is fundamental to the purification of the head. Some forms of meditation are geared towards stillness alone, and while this is beautiful and relevant in its own sense, its goal is to move the single-point of awareness into a still-point of focus, whereas what we are speaking of here is the diffusing of awareness to encompass the whole head sphere, and actually clearing-out the noise. This actually is what allows for the single-point to become sharper and more focused, in any case, given that the mental noise that scatters attention is cleared out.
b) Taking inventory of the mind is much like organising a scattered filing system (yay, fun!). We quite literally would encourage journalling and charts for this kind of thing – seriously, it's a great way to really see what's going on. We enter the mind with the intention of really scrutinising and disassembling what we observe as our central perceptual structures, ideas, thought patterns, ways in which we project judgments or beliefs onto the outside world. It is a daunting task for many, and one that is a refined and highly concentrated work. We can often meet the scattered monkey-mind, and must take ownership of seeing how consciousness (as the masculine) is scattered, unfocused, and tending towards dissociation from reality (as the present moment and the body). This is a clearing-out of the hard-drive, freeing up more space (emptiness) to reveal the Higher Mental Facilities (explored below) that are birthed as a consequence of healing the scattered mind. Here we are taken into a cultivation of presence, allowing a greater capacity to connect into the moment, as well as purifying the speech faculties to align mental and oral translation with the deeper qualities of Being experienced through the Heart and Root centres.
In some sense, we can really consider this active disassembling to be a kind of meditation. In both the a) and b) processes, we as consciousness are entering into the head. Both actions have the effect of clearing-out the mind, making way for True Mind.
True Mind and Rainbow Sight
The opening of the head reveals the minds real gift of clarity, focus and precision: it is the Magicians Wand. To say that the Magicians Wand is the source of magic itself would be incorrect – the Magician (or witch or wizard, if you like) is really the Magical One, but the wand allows for the focused application of creative energy (Shakti, the Feminine, or the Vortex) to effectively manifest. It is possible for one to grow their capacity in the heart and root centres, and develop a deep sense of 'magic' (love and creative wisdom), but the actualisation of this wisdom can be corrupted by a noisy and scattered head, which affects ones communicative capacity as well as lacking the mental focus required to penetrate out into existence, cutting through noise and allowing enough space to birth the Integrity of the Feminine.
We have seen it to be so that some have cultivated creative energy while not being balanced in the opening of the head, and consequently their life energy is being informed by the distortions of their belief systems. The unawakened Shiva (noisy mind) also necessitates that there has not been enough development of the penetrative capacity to hold and enter into deeper places of trauma within the body, meaning that the feminine creativity is being distorted by her unloved and unhealed wounds... This combination can be dangerous, as the creative vortex actually manifests through the unawakened mind and the unmet human wounding... it can be a literal manifestation of the nightmare; the belief systems and unmet traumas informing reality from that separation, leading to dark karmic patterns playing out in abusive power dynamics – not good.
Developing the Masculine qualities of the mind through the a) and b) processes allows our senses to go through a rewiring, whereby we no longer see through the eyes or hear through the ears of the old identity, wrapped in in narratives and only perceiving data from reality that confirms or supports its narrative. Here, we come to experience what we like to call the Rainbow Sight. The senses are now able to receive pure Being from reality, seeing deeper than the surface appearance of Form. Pure Sight is the deepest seeing imaginable; it is a seeing so deep that it is synonymous with feeling. This seeing allows an even deeper application into feeling or pain within the body as inferred previously: it so direct and penetrative that it can open up the origin-source of Existence (getting to the core). The opening of this origin-source as the Feminine is deeply healing, when we combine the focused empty mind and the Rainbow Sight, with the Love of the God in the Heart. We see to, and love through, the depths of reality.
Connecting to Soul
The heart can open in many different ways. As we have said, we can often see the open heart in young children, prior to adopting the pathways that promote the closing-down of the heart. Most adult human beings have experience with an opening of the heart centre when they fall in love. The human heart has a quality of bonding, a sense of shared meaning or purpose with other, a tender care that is like a warm and gently burning flame. Often this quality dwindles between couples, however, as falling in love is not the same as growing in love, and very soon the old pathways of rejection and wounding appear. This is really an invitation for love to deepen, but many fall into the trap of clinging onto the previous state of immature union, or simply resign themselves to a 'rut' within the relationship, and don't step up to the challenge of maturation.
When we speak of consciously beginning to connect to the Soul, the heart begins to open when we inquire into the nature of Love. What is Love? Do I truthfully know of Love? What is my experience with it, or lack-thereof? The heart begins to open through our own nescience (non-knowing, or innocent ignorance), whereby our humility and sincere longing takes us into a space of receptivity, where our own soul-nature (or God) can awaken in us, as our inner-teacher. Here, we can receive the lessons of gratitude, true generosity (giving without the selfishness of wanting something in return – not true giving), and general receptivity to Love and Life.
Here, we may begin to meet the ways in which we refuse to receive and/or give love, where we refuse to love ourselves and others, hatred towards self/other, resentment towards life. These are perfectly normal feelings to encounter as we move towards healing and opening the heart. We are simply invited to move through these feeling states with honesty, and stay committed to allow heart to open, one flower-petal at a time.
Dying into Him (Divine Will and the Sacred Fire)
Meeting the Father is an experience of annihilation towards the smaller, egocentric fear-based self. It can be difficult for people to make this surrender, as it is a giving-up of the separate smaller will that is dependant upon the refusal to listen to the call of God to serve the whole creation, to live as a cooperative agent of the Divine Will. This stage may ignite what many refer to as the 'dark night of the soul', and it can sometimes occur further down the track for some those who've moved through some of the early initiations of the heart (as described above in the first section).
We go through a series of tests at this point on the journey, presented with all of the old ways and attachments that could pull us back into the empty rituals and habits of our fear-based and selfish existence. This can often feel like an active battle between the higher and lower selves, 'God' vs 'the Devil', Soul vs Ego. There is a learning to distinguish between the True Authority of the Heart, and the controller-mind that has been the central operator of the human vehicle up until this point. The mind at this stage will use anything it can to keep the heart from cracking, as a protection against the unknown. The apparent 'logical' mind grabs onto anything that could appear to be a valid reason not to take full responsibility for actually living your own life, and standing behind your most authentic movements. The best advice we can offer you if you're at this point is to make it absolutely simple: is it fear underlying that thought? If yes – toss it.
Other traditions have referred to this point as the Bodhisattva Vow. Not the traditional ritual initiation made by Buddhist Monks (though the sentiment is still of this nature), but rather the inner movement made by one's Being, when the Real Commitment begins. And yes, there is no turning back. As we come closer to this meeting, we come to acknowledge that the contents of our disconnected lives feel empty. We see that everything that this smaller self wishes to hold onto is meaningless without the connection to Truth, given that the Truth is what is beyond all forms and is the origin of all experience.
"For to the one who has [God], more will be given, and he will have an abundance, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away." – Jesus, Matthew 13:12.
At the point of the vow to serve, we shed the old layer of self that was moving the human vehicle as the primary operating system. Here, Being-beyond enters the body, and begins a rewiring process, that is a direct transfiguration by Divine Love. It is an energetically intense period of rapid burning, with many physical shifts realigning and purifying the body. He (God/Spirit) enters Her (as matter, or the human body). We receive Him by virtue of meeting the pain of our human experience, falling onto our knees in the humility of recognising the incapacity of our personality self. We drop the arrogance of avoidance and pretence, and meet the reality of our struggles, our heartbreak. We no longer choose to run away from the pain we feel, the pain of having lived a life away from Truth, our real selves – God.
"The moment you accept what troubles you have been given, the door will open." – Rumi.
The Will activates the impulse to evolve, and can initiate us into cycles of rapid expansion and movement, either internally or externally. We come to Know ourselves as that infinite light, and this is what generates courage and the overall masculine capacity to keep moving, evolving, and expanding beyond our limits. It is completely disruptive, and can be quite jolting on the nervous system. It is not far of a stretch to compare the Will to being electrocuted, pierced by a bolt of lightning.
The shadow of the Will is that, on its own, it is not sustainable. We must integrate our expansions and downloads received from infinite intelligence/higher consciousness. It is not sustainable to stay connected to the burning fire, and if one attempts to, the body can eventually suffer and burn out. We can compare this to the sun, in that we are completely dependent upon it's gift of light to us. It is what allows life to exist on our planet, and yet – we cannot live on the sun, for evident reasons. Connecting into God (sun) connects us to our source, the heart of our life (like the solar system). It inspires new life and new growth. And like all aspects of nature, there are cycles of rapid growth, rest, death and rebirth. As such, surrendering to the Divine Will is a necessity on the journey of meeting and birthing Truth. But we must allow our bodies to ground and integrate our expansions of consciousness, if we are to become sustainable and most effective in our contribution to the planet across time.
The Stomach & Root
Incarnating into Matter – Complete Devastation
Grounding consciousness into the body is, for some time on the journey, an incredibly painful and challenging process. Very few endeavour to truthfully meet the places that hold the most severe pain of our human existence, and yet, we are faced with the reality of how our turning-away from these places has caused a great deal of unnecessary abuse on the planet as a result of our failure to take responsibility for bringing Love and Truth into our lives. We are called to face the consequences of having lived our lives in separation from our own nature, from ourselves. We have seen many wonderful people who have awakened to higher states of consciousness in the head and heart, who have refused to turn those revelations towards the body and the earth. This is great loss, not only in the immature rejection of the Total Surrender to God (which includes feminine God-head as Matter), but also because consciousness is refusing to do the very thing that would bring it the most satisfaction – merging with existence and incarnating as God/Truth-in-Form. Honestly, it's pretty ridiculous, given the beauty that is waiting for us...
In the descent, we meet the structures of identification (ego) held in the lower body. Gradually, consciousness is widened, strengthened and refined in such a way that it can permeate and occupy parts within the human body that have been largely untouched due to the generations of abandonment of nature. These parts are ‘foundational', meaning that they actually sit at the core of the entire egoic personality structure. Here, we see that challenging feelings such as helplessness, abandonment, rejection, worthlessness, separation, loneliness and grief are often found just underneath the more shallow movements of identification. Until this is clearly seen, we move in the world in a way that is fundamentally out of Integrity (in rejecting our own nature).
Integrity (see Pattern Integrity) can only emerge as a result of meeting the core wounding. It is the arrival into who we are, as Love (masculine) touches and purifies our most devastated places. The Masculine (consciousness) must be greatly strengthened in its Will-to-Love and devotion to God to gain capacity enough to descend-into and transfigure such painful places. This is where surrender is most important, as we meet limitation after limitation within the body. These are the limitations of consciousness – the immature rejection of existence – characterised by themes of avoidance, arrogance and control in relation to feeling Her (the body). Consciousness (masculine) is refined and humbled such that it can become the application of strong, tender love that has capacity to embrace the entirety of the human experience. Basically, the sooner we can agree to surrender through our rejection, the sooner our humanity can be met with the Love it has been longing for (and deserves). The result is the dissolution of the egoic root, resulting in the awakening of the True Individual.
Penetration vs. Permeation
Penetration is the direct, clear application of love into particular points or structures within the body. Permeation is the gentle embrace of such points or structures, bringing about a gradual melting. In our work, we have seen the importance of fusing both these movements of consciousness. Truthfully, both can be seen as penetrative qualities, but it is worthwhile making the distinction, as many can make the mistake of attempting to 'push through' their wounded bodies, which inevitably leads to unnecessary pain and burnout. This could be described as a 'focused point' of application contrasted with a 'diffused point' of application.
When meeting trauma, the application of love as permeating presence is called for, while we may need some more focused penetration toward identity structures that may be sitting on top of these places of pain, seeking to avoid and protect from being truly met by loving consciousness. Permeation can gently support the relaxation of very tense, traumatised, painful places with the body, and bring about the sensorial experience of being ‘bathed in the womb.’ The body can come to such a state of rest that deep healing can start to naturally occur. Permeation is ultimately about the regulation of the nervous system and the activation of the parasympathetic nervous system. In other words, down-regulating the engrained trauma responses, and bringing the body/mind back to a state of equilibrium and relaxation.
While the overall maturation of consciousness is such that it becomes expansive and gentle in holding the body in tenderness, we have to stay connected to the necessary role of the The Will. This aspect is how we ‘stay put’ with – and continue to meet – whatever pain is in our bodies. It is the application of an impersonal love that is beyond preference; it is how we can move through and dissolve the old structures of avoidance and control, and become very honest with the pain.
The descent into matter is a greatly challenging and humbling process for us on our path to embodiment. We are called to transfigure our own deepest pain, which turns over into a meeting with the pain of the earth, and all living beings on the planet who have suffered as a consequence of our insensitive abuse and exploitation that has been a direct consequence of burying our heads in the sand. But meeting the feminine in this way is truthfully the return home: a discovery of ourselves in our most true and innocent nature, and the awakening to the harmonic benevolence that is the holy gift of our human lives.